February 23, 2011
Break It Down Again
© Tudor Stanica | Dreamstime.com
Sometimes when I look at the horizon, I have no idea if I am looking at a sunset – as if my whole world is coming to an end… many of the plans and ambitions that my life has created for myself have never come to light. I spent twelve years preparing for two different professions I never got a chance to advance and practice in my life. Even in my current profession, I am earning half the salary I originally was at over a decade ago. I have been skipped over for raises and promotions despite a diligent work ethic. Even attempts at self-promotion through tireless job hunting has lead to several years of fruitless and disappointing dead ends.
Lord, I give up.
Everything I have tried to do and achieve in this life has led me to here: sad, frustrated and broken. I am tired of struggling at work to do good work… then to only have a coworker or my boss snatch up my labors to take the credit. I am tired of being overlooked for promotions, awards or raises because despite my hard work these things seem totally out of my control.
Most of all, I am tired. I am weary because I have lost my way. I always thought that working hard, achieving and tireless ambition would bring to me success and prosperity in my life. I thought by now I would be living in a large house with my family, be an executive or some high ranking official in my original chosen area of work. Instead, I am here – at a crossroads – thunder and steam gone and the gleam in my eyes have faded away to a dull gray.
Then this morning, I turn to the First Book of Corinthians and started to read this:
Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. (1 Corinthians 1:26)
I thought I was destined for nobility and influence in my life. But that is where I have made my mistake. Paul reminds us of the folly of pride and human achievement when he writes:
For it is written: “I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intlligent I will frustrate.” (1 Corinthians 1:19)
And now it all makes better sense. Perfect grades and test scores in school, countless awards and personal achievements all spelled a recipe for success in my eyes… except God’s. God chooses the opposite of the things that mankind elevates and admires.
He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things – and the things that are not – to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him. (1 Corinthians 1:28)
Even Paul, a shining figure of Christianity came from a humble heart when he says
When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. I came to you in weakness and in fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that you faith might not rest on mens’ wisdom, but on God’s power. (1 Corinthians 2:1-5)
When God chose his messengers of the Gospel, he did not pick from the rich and the haughty or the wise and the scholarly. Human knowledge and wisdom falls short of comprehension of God. I realize now that my ambitions or life plans were not the way God had planned for me. Every time I build myself up, He breaks it down with a crushing blow.
But God is a loving God.
I firmly believe that these crushing blows are God’s attempt to remove me from my ingrained, scholarly approach to life. These beliefs in human constructs an achievements were leading me away from Him. The moment I realized that my human failures were simply the result of God breaking through to my heart, it all made sense.
True, I am broken, tired and disappointed (in myself). True, I might not be achieving at the level that I believe I have earned through my labors. The life God calls us to isn’t about that. When life is over, God despises the man who is boastful before Him. For the “foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength” (1 Corinthians 1:25) It’s about time that I settle down amongst my failures and take a large dose of humility.
I am at a crossroads in my professional life and there again, I have found God waiting for me; asking me to leave it all behind. It is not through my achievement that I have come this far. It is through His grace and guidance that has taken me here today.
This morning, as I look at the horizon. For certain it is a sunrise. It is a beginning. “Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 1:31) I am letting go of my self-promotion and have further resolve to promoting Christ the Lord, through whom we receive our righteousness, holiness and redemption.
